Turtle Wax Cream Wax

[pjgh]

First, many thanks to Luke88 for flying down our road and couriering in a pot of the stuff. Thanks, pal.

So, what is it?


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... CF8645.jpg

It's a "wax" ... you get a pot, an applicator and a box. Instructions?


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... CF8646.jpg

So, don't use in sunlight, then.

Okay ... let's have a look:


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... CF8647.jpg

Closer?


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... CF8648.jpg

So, a sloppy mousse - a liquid masquerading as a solid wax, so they call it a cream. I'm used to this - in fact, one of my favourite such waxes is one from ArmorAll: Hi Shine Soft Paste Wax.

It does smell old, old-fashioned, chemically and I already know how it is going to play ... somewhere between boot polish and Mr Sheen, but not as good as either.

Dutifully, I will continue ...

Here's the applicator:


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... CF8644.jpg

Damp, apply, done ... but first ...

Let's give it the best chance and cleanse the surface with some Dodo Juice Micro Prime. Even on an apparently clean surface, there's still grime to be had:


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... G_9972.jpg


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... G_9974.jpg


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... G_9975.jpg

Now, the wax ...


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... G_9978.jpg


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... G_9979.jpg

I already know this is going to be bad. It smells bad, it applied bad, it looks bad on the paint and really ... it's not going to be fun to remove.

It didn't weld itself like Simoniz Teflon but not far off. It took some shifting and there was a lot of dust which worked into the cracks and crevaces needing some more serious clean-up.

Cleaned up ...


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... G_9980.jpg


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... G_9981.jpg

Actually, it looked worse than after the Dodo Juice Micro Prime. Glazing oils removed, back to dull; not even sealant boosted, just dull.

Beading was okay, though:


http://www.pjgh.co.uk/gallery_albums/tu ... G_9988.jpg

... which hung on the paint giving me every indication that at the first wash it was going to be awful.

Did I mention how much it dusted and how much clean up was required?

Not worth it! There are so many other legacy products out there; this is not worth a look. I cannot recommend it for anything - price, anything. It's a legacy product, poor at that. Avoid.

[sharpdeath]

Sounds like Luke stitched you up Paul!

[pjgh]

Sure did, but it was his petrol
You know I love a bad product as much as I love a good one ...

[willington]

It's amazing how we take for granted the quality and range of products we have available today.

Go back just 30 years and Autoglym was the new boy on the block and Turtle Wax/Simonize still dominated the market.

Good to see that a test was done on a 'Retro' product...even though it was a bad un!

[luke88]

cracking review there mate, i had serious trouble removing it even using a short pile M/F, but seeing as it was a freebie and i didn't get on with it, i decided to pass it on for the scrutinous testing you give products, and you didnt dissapoint mate! i wasnt expecting good results at all, there's another product added onto the "AVOID AT ALL COSTS" and should be advertised with warning lights on the shelfs of which it lives on!

Luke

[pjgh]

For a couple of quid, Tesco Deep Shine Wax is appallingly bad! It remains the worst I've used, Simoniz Teflon next ... this is pretty high up there

[sharpdeath]

Looks like Brylcreem! Ash used to use Brylcreem when he was young, about 76 years old...